Born to die
by witchysiren
Summary: Jaime/Cersei, Tywin/Joanna parallels. AU Maggy does Qyburn's role for newly married Cersei. Maggy's prophesy plays a bigger role and impact in Cersei's life. Lot's of TyJo flashbacks missing years happy marriage moments. Lannisters invented paternity leave and pregnant sex in Westeros. Character deaths. Rated S for Sad.
1. Joffrey I

**Westeros level of sexism and all the other nasty stuff**

 **Jaime/Cersei and Tywin/Joanna romance and parallels and all the sad sad things that happens to House Lannister**

* * *

Two little girls age 8 and 10 picked their way through the underbrush. The older more determined the younger already lamenting the state of her pretty dress.

"Greetings Maggy of house Spicer, we... "

"Ah've been expectin' yoh, " the woman said, she had wavy black hair, brown skin and hazel eyes "Lady Lannister and..." maggy smiled at Genna, "Lady Frey."

"Oh no no no I am a Lannister too, "Joanna insisted "I am not a Frey. I am from Lannisport and not the Rock, but I assure you I am a lion too."

Maggy indicated that they sit.

Genna wondered how awfully mad Tywin would be if he found out where she and Joanna were. Not very, she decided, her respected older brother was incapable of any violence or punishment if Joanna was at all involved.

"I have come for my fortune read."

"Av you brought a payment?"

Joanna pulled out a hairpin and she slid it forth, it was a fair trade. She had intended to wear it on her wedding day.

Maggy slid it back, "it is fools gold!"

"No," she protested, "that that cannot be uncle Tytos gave it to me, he said it was his Lady Wife's that I should wear it on my wedding..."

Maggy spilled a liquid on the hairpin and it dissolved with a fizzle.

Just like that Joanna saw her future disappear. Uncle Tytos must have sold the real thing and given her the pin so Tywin wouldn't discover his father's treachery.

Genna slid a money pouch across the table

Maggy extracted some coins and slid the pouch back

"You would do this for me?"Joanna asked softly, her pride hurting.

"Aye i love you best from our family apart from Tywin."

"I will pay this debt back," Joanna said with conviction wondering if Genna would still love her penniless cousin if she knew Joanna wanted to marry her Lord Brother.

"I shall hold you to it," Genna vowed in true Lannister fashion even at age 7.

"What is it yoh wish to know?" Maggy asked the candle light illuminating her freckles in the dark tent.

"Will I Marry Tywin Lannister, my cousin? "Joanna didn't look at Genna she knew she was reaching, Tywin would gain nothing marrying her and lose an alliance from a great house. Perhaps he would wed a Baratheon daughter, the young Storm lord Steffon Baratheon loved Tywin well, he would no doubt wish to turn the friendship onto kinship.

"Please say yes,"Joanna prayed squeezing her eyes shut and to her surprise she felt Genna's hand squeeze hers

"I do hope she says yes Cousin, I do detest those Southerners." Genna confessed

"Yes," maggy said, "You shall wed Tywin, the shield of Lannisport, the Warden of the West, the Lion of the Rock"

The girls sprang up out of their seats and started jumping up and down holding each other

" You have three more questions girl make them worthy."

Genna and Joanna whispered to each other

"Will we have many children?"

"Three babes will be your limit."

"Oh," Joanna exclaimed she had 7 siblings, Tywin had 4 this was not what she expected.

"Will it be a happy marriage?" Genna asked when Joanna was silent and sulking.

"Yes, one of the only few happy marriages in the great houses. "

" Will he... be faithful," Joanna asked quickly she knew men were not expected to show their wives fidelity. Joanna was already imagining slapping and scratching out the eyes of any woman that Tywin would ever lay with.

"He will love no one but you you. Your love shall define his life." Maggy sighed.

Joanna held a hand to her breast she was so overcome she wanted to be betrothed as soon as possible she wanted this future, she wanted Tywin to know that he belonged to her. She wanted the next 6 years to pass by in the blink of an eye she wanted to have her wedding and have their love spoken about for centuries.

"When will I... he... "Joanna asked anxiously

Genna grabbed Joanna's hand "it's the last question Joy, be mindful ask the witch something important."

"Will he my husband, love my children and cherish them?"

Maggy smiled a wicked smile, "for as long as you live."

"Thank you," Joanna said sincerely, the Prester women outlived their husbands, it was a bitter-sweet feeling to know that she would have to live without Tywin, but he would love his children till his end, and he would live on in their children. Joanna took her leave, she was already resenting the gods for taking Tywin away from her and their children.

Genna looked at Maggy with suspicion

"Yoh my little heiress shall have.. "

"I care not! You lie. I should rather die than marry a fisher lord! Just you watch when I don't marry a Frey I shall come back here and burn your tent with you in it, you Charlatan" Genna sped after Joanna.

When fourteen year old Emmon frey arrived the next week, to ask for Genna's hand in marriage, she had thought it a cruel joke that she would wed before Joanna and Tywin and to second son who would inherit nothing.

 **Present Day**

Robert had thrown a feast, no one knew the occasion they did as the king commanded.

He made passes at any and every woman but Cersei.

Cersei having had her fill of his company, was about to take her leave when he spoke in his booming voice.

"Oh such a fertile house... One suspects that Lord Tywin sold me a barren broodmare. I should demand an exchange. The gods know I'd get more pleasure fucking a Lannister Charger."

Nobody dared laugh, they all knew what happened to those who irked the Proud Lord Tywin Lannister. Cersei had looked at Robert with pity, when he realised that he was alone in his laughter, it was after all not very honourable to insult one's wife at a feast.

Cersei had been furious, but she hid it well, she must show no weakness, she brushed off any and every attempt by her court ladies to comfort her. She swept by the guards.  
She was a perfect picture of arrogance, head high, shoulders erect she was Tywin's daughter was she not?

She was not in fact barren, when she was 10, a witch at Lannisport had told her that she would have three children, gold their crowns and gold their shrouds, so when Robert bed her she would drink moontea. It wasn't malicious. She didn't hate Robert, despite everything he had done to her spirit and her body. She wanted desperately to be a mother, but she was very aware that the pain of burying ones child would make her fling herself off a rooftop.

When she sat on her bed, she was not so strong. She had worshipped Robert, they had all told her that he would love her, even those who didn't even like her even they were certain that Robert would love her. They all said the same thing, that only a blind fool would not love her.

She didn't feel like a lion, she felt like a mouse. She didn't want to cry, she felt lost and empty

She slid to the floor and prayed as she once had for her mother to be returned to her. She prayed to be loved. To be cherished. To be held.

She had been praying so reverently that she had not noticed the door opening, nor soft footsteps.

When she felt a hand on her shoulder and felt herself being lifted from the floor she thought it was Robert who had come to his senses.

As she turned around she was hypnotised by the man holding her, she felt a warmth in her breast. Safety and home, yes this was what it felt like when her brother held her. She felt that nothing could harm her, he would protect her.

"Why are you... she began "you should be with him. Your duty... "

"My only duty since I was born was to protect and love you Cersei. I cannot bear to see you in pain."

"I am not partial to pain either she said laying her cheek against his chest.

When Jaime cupped her cheek, Cersei had smiled immediately, a languid slow mark of joy. Something fell into place inside cersei. She leaned into his touch. The way his hand slid around her waist was not brotherly, the way her hand caressed his neck was also not sisterly.

When he breathed her name into her hair, it was hard to say who made the first move.

She felt the emptiness inside her fill and disappear. She had only ever felt this whole, this satisfied with Jaime, when they were younger and they were curious. She laughed into his skin.

He had looked offended, "I know, it has been an age since we have done this, but must you be so cruel? I am trying my best." He had grumbled.

How glaringly obvious, she thought, as rapture overcame her, it was as if they belonged together.

When morning came so did the guilt. She had pushed him away cursed him and spent the day in the sept.

She asked for clarity, why had the gods sent Jaime to comfort her when she asked to be loved.

If it was so sinful and wrong then why in the god's names did it feel so good? Why was it the only thing that felt right?

After agonising in the sept all day she found Jaime sulking outside her chambers she pulled him in, she locked the door behind them as they stumbled toward the bed, lips and hands everywhere.

When she felt Jaime kiss his way up her thighs, she knew without a doubt that this was why her marriage with Robert would not work. They had advised her to worship Robert. Lannister wives were not meant to worship their husbands, rather the men were made to worship their wives as Jaime was worshiping her on his knees. She trailed her fingers in his hair, yes she thought finding purchase in his hair and clutching at her sheets, yes as he worshiped her, she would rule over him, that was the natural order of a Lannister marriage, one Genna Frey had managed to replicate with her Frey husband.

* * *

Cersei sat quietly as the high septon delivered a passionate sermon about how men fathering bastards was contaminating the purity of Westeros society. She was seated in the seat of honour Robert was passed out drunk somewhere. Jaime stood behind her seat, angling his body so he could touch her if he desired to do so, his hands obscured by his cloak.

He reeks of contamination himself, smells like a dead mongoose Cersei remarked unkindly, lips twisting in disgust.

Jaime chuckled softly.

Oh is fathering bastards an amusing concept she asked mentally listing down their crimes, adultery, incest and treason. Never underestimate a Lannister when they sinned they went all out.

"Do you know how close we were to being born bastards?" Jaime asked dropping his head down momentarily to whisper to her

Cersei felt a knife of betrayal in her breast. She couldn't even look at Jaime. She shrank from his warmth. How could he, after countless nights of soothing her hurts, physical and emotional after Robert was done with her, make such a callous remark? Cersei wanted to scream every time someone implied that the dragon king Aerys had bedded her mother. It was inconceivable yet here was her gallant and foolish brother repeating that disgusting rumour, accepting that their mother had faced the same degrading fate as Cersei under another King.

He slid her a piece of paper, "Our cousin Damion found it in grandmother Marla's jewelry box."

It was dated a few months before Jaime and Cersei were born.

 _My Dear Lady Mother, The Lord Hand – Tywin Lannister is beastly. I want this wedding annulled. He comes to my bed smelling like livestock and is not there when I wake._  
 _Your dissatisfied daughter Joanna._

Cersei repressed a smile. She knew of the story, it had to do with the custom of the husband preparing a nursery for his children. How could the gods expect her to love another when it was Jaime and only Jaime who could understand her, who else would have known that by sharing with her an old note scrawled by their mother would cause her joy?

"You inherited her keen sense of smell too," Jaime murmured

Cersei squeezed Jaime's hand, he tickled her hand and then squeezed back. Hang the Septon their child was conceived in love, their child was not a symbol of sin, their child was a Lannister cub. Joffrey was a part of Joanna, Tywin, Jaime and herself. Joffrey was a link between the past and the future. She would like every woman to birth a Lannister babe before her, fiercely protect and love her child. As a great queen and a powerful Ser as the babe's father what harm could come to her precious baby boy?

* * *

Robert had just returned from hunting boars and fucking whores, or the other way around. Seeing the sad state of his beautiful young bride, he heard a suggestion to return Cersei to Casterly Rock, apparently Lannister women needed to have their first birth at their ancestral home. Robert allowed for himself and his wife to travel to Casterly Rock, with Ser Jaime to escort them to the West. The singers sang songs about how the king was so loving and understanding that he was the gold standard of husbandry. The truth was that Cersei, ever since falling pregnant would have night terrors and cry in her sleep this upset Robert, not the fact that she was distressed but because it meant that she would not be compliant to his needs.

Cersei stared out the window of the wheelhouse. Jaime rode ahead, as he was a Kingsguard and not her husband who could no longer ride horses due to his excessive weight. Robert had a wheelhouse all to himself, they said he needed to stretch his legs, the men joked that he often took village girls into his wheelhouse, that is why he was at the rear which was against tradition, the king must always be first.

An old servant kept Cersei company, she was sewing soft blankets for the baby. She worked simultaneously, on a pink blanket and a blue blanket, she was from Lannisport. She smelled like fish. Cersei was dreadfully ill multiple times before they even got to the Westerlands borders.

Cersei, ruminated about her life, she had done what her father wanted, she was Queen. She wondered if it was a desire to please her Lord father or was it her own wish to become a Queen. She closed her eyes, her hand over her swollen belly. They had told her it would be a boy. Robert had already told her, the first born would be called, Joffrey, Cersei had agreed, and for a moment she could imagine herself the mother of a beautiful green eyed child, he would have curly blonde hair, thick lashes and lips like hers.

"Oh Lord Father," she prayed not to the gods but her father, "please grant me the strength to see this through."

Cersei had been charming and demure through the feast thrown in Joffrey's honour, she could have sworn that her father had even smiled at her fondly. When an old cousin of her father's was sufficiently drunk he called her Joanna and called Jaime Tywin.

Cersei had laughed nervously. The last thing she needed, after earning Tywin's respect was to get caught for incest and adultery, get disgraced and paraded in the streets naked as shit and slurs were thrown at her.

"I am not my Lady mother I am Cersei, Uncle Lucasse," she said softly

"Oh, forgive me child," the old cousin cried sadly, "your mother Joanna she was…"

"Beautiful I know," Cersei repressed the urge to roll her eyes, if she had a gold coin every time someone described Joanna as beautiful she could fill an entire room.

"Such a good mother and such a good wife!" Lucasse said

Cersei stopped listening, she loved her mother but what good would it do her to be compared to a woman who was remembered as perfect, so beautiful so clever, so strong? She analysed her nightmares, they were all of being discovered and her children being stoned in the streets, Jaime would be exiled at Castle Black and she would be forced to give up her claim and name and leave for the free cities with her child. A life without Jaime? She would rather die. That would not be a life worth living, she was not whole without him. As her pregnancy progressed another dream took over, it was of a stag tearing though her belly and she'd die bleeding out. The stag she gave birth to then pointed out Jaime and spoke of their infidelity and treason against the King. Not even Jaime was spared in the dream.

Once she fell pregnant, she found it increasingly difficult to deny Jaime when he came to her bed. Robert, excited with the prospect of bedding servant girls who looked like his wife, had already put Cersei out of his mind. Which was why Jaime had confidently come to Cersei's chambers, he had looked at her with so much love and longing. He proclaimed his love and how brave she was having his child.

It took every ounce of energy to tell Jaime no, even as he left she was clenching her fists to keep her lips still so that she did not say what she was thinking, "Please stay", she had futilely resisted but something in her voice got through to him and he left eyes soft and hurt.

"Forgive the intrusion," a woman said her face obscured by a pile of laundry, Cersei gasped in fright how much had this woman seen? She thought in fear.

Cersei's heart thudded, she hoped the woman had not seen Jaime.

"Your husband the King must love you well, first he brings you home and then he begs you to let him bed you, my husband whether I sleep or I am awake he just crawls on top of me and does his business."

Cersei shuddered, she did not want to hear anymore, it was bad enough what Robert did to her. Cersei was wholly consumed by keeping herself, Jaime and her unborn babe safe not to mention to keep the name Lannister free of tarnish. She did not need an additional task, to feel sympathy for the woman, who was clearly a Lannister bastard.

The woman shook her head with a smile

"What?" Cersei snapped

"You remind me of…"

"My mother," Cersei rolled her eyes

"No child no, you remind me of your father forgive my vulgarity but…"

"Speak freely." Cersei instructed the woman

"When your mother was pregnant, she was quite randy, in heat one would say, she would demand your Lord Father's affections in the morning, noon and at dinner."

Cersei's eyes widened, her perfect Lady Mother was so forward? "My Lord father he tolerated such wonton behaviour?" Cersei asked eyes narrowing, this was clearly a tale.

"Oh he resisted, he had no mother to advise him, so terrified he was to cause your mother any harm nor to you and Ser Jaime in her belly, oh how valiantly he attempted to dissuade your mother."

"My father denied my mother his affections?" Cersei was amused, thinking of how she often futilely, resisted Jaime but gave in.

"Not for long, your father could very well deny the gods but not your Lady mother, she had a special gift for extracting from your father anything she wanted."

"Thank you for that story," Cersei smiled, it was always flattering to hear how she resembled her father. Jaime was truly Lady Joanna's son as Cersei was Tywin's daughter.

Later that night, it was Cersei who sought out Jaime, and as they lay together as husband and wife blanketed only by the pale moonlight. She told him that she was scared

"Of what sweet sister?" he asked

"Living without you," she answered honestly, she knew he wanted the child, so she did not tell him of the dreams. He would be offended he would pout, she would try to make him feel better and then they would make love again and then she would be tired to return to her chambers and they would be discovered for sure.

"Oh my love, my sweet girl," he said and claimed her mouth

She pushed his face away, she had decided to leave his chambers in the next minute as if their lives depended on it and it actually did.

"That day shall never come to pass," he vowed, "I shall never leave you nor shall I leave this world not while you breathe." He told her as she dressed, once again she fought against her very nature, every fibre of her being was crying out to be loved by him but she had to be strong, she kissed his forehead and then his mouth.

"I love you, Jaime," she breathed softly against his lips.

Jaime smiled against her lips.

Cersei lay in bed and turned her face towards Jaime's chambers, she could imagine the walls the people everything fading away until they were the only two people in the world.


	2. Joffrey II

**Erin is the mastermind of this fic**

 **Cersei has a nightmare at the end**

 **Westeros is sexist af that's why TyJo think they having a baby boy.** **  
**

* * *

Joffrey II

Whe King Aerys had allowed Tywin leave to attend to his first child's birth, the realm had been talking about how devoted Lord Lannister was to his wife. The servants spared nothing when they prepared for Lord Tywin's return. The feast they said was fit for a King, Joanna had tried to stop the people from saying that, once it reached the Capital it would not bode well.

Joanna had been beside herself, her mother had to twist her ear a few times to remind her daughter that she was a Lady of a great house not some trembling maid sneaking off to meet a Ser in the stables to get dishonoured. Joanna waited impatiently as Tywin made his way to her, he in his goldspun armour and red travel cloak, was waylaid by their numerous relatives, Joanna had yawned when he stopped in front of her

"I had no inkling that the Great and mighty Lord Tywin Lannister could walk so slow," she said rolling her eyes she took her mother's arm and treated Tywin with a faceful of her hair as she turned her back on him

"Joanna," he called she did not heed him

"Mother you must try the seared Hallibut, I made the sauce just like you taught me."

* * *

"Joanna, you have been avoiding me."

"Did you hear something?" Joanna whispered loudly to her belly, "silly me I thought the Dragon King sent my Lord Husband back to me but the man he sent back is more interested in settling land disputes. He is not your father he must be an imposter. That is the only explanation," Joanna said with a pout

"After everything my fool of a father has done, Joanna do you not think it is imperative to ensure that as Wardens of the West we reassure our bannermen that we are as concerned with their issues as they are."

Joanna strode to Tywin and put his hand on her belly, "this is my only concern Tywin and if you do not feel the same she shook her head you should return to your beloved King or shall I say Master...?"

Tywin bent his knee and hugged his wife around the middle, his face to her belly

"You are my only concern Joanna, all of your our son included I will tell Kevan to hear the petitions from tomorrow."

Joanna ran her hand through Tywin's hair, "Oh I have missed you these past few moons..."

"Hasn't our son kept you company?" Tywin asked getting up

"Gods no I feel like I am giving birth to a horse not a lion cub."

The next morning Joanna was cross. Tywin had made her all sorts of promises whispering against her skin, but when she woke he was not by her side. She wrote a note to her mother, _**"I want to annul this marriage, Tywin is beastly and a liar**_."

The door opened and her husband snuck in with something in his hands

Joanna knew Maggy had said that Tywim would never be unfaithful to her but what did Maggy know? Where had he returned from? Joanna feigned sleep.

Curiosity got the better of Joanna as she opened her eyes as Tywin carefully unwrapped the large red napkin and in the middle of it sat a bowl and in it was pearly white young coconut flesh

Tywin she gasped how did you

You talk in your sleep, my love, I rode out to get you some

Oh Tywin my lion she was laughing and crying as she tried to hug him while he tried to stop the bowl from tipping over.

He fed her the slippery delicacy, and they talked about baby names

"Tyson," Joanna insisted, "after his father, such a strong name."

Tywin shook his head, "Jaime after you..."

The empty bowl clattered to the floor as the Lady pounced on her husband like the animal her family was associated with. Tywin had winced during dinner as his collar brushed against the bite Joanna had given him, Joanna smiled to herself, proud of her handiwork.

* * *

Joanna, had been lectured by Marla for an age that Tywin was Warden of the West before he was her husband and if she couldn't accept that that, she was a failure as a wife. When Tytos died and Tywin was at the capital she would have to rule in Tywin's stead. She had reluctantly agreed that she was being greedy and that she would not make Tywin feel guilty when he had to go to Lannisport to oversee some shipments.

Joanna had her hands on her hips. She was one death, her father in law's namely, away from having full control of Casterly Rock for 9 moons a year. The first thing she would do to prove her worth and strength would be to prepare their child's nursery. Typically the husband would do it.

Joanna rolled her eyes, she remembered Tywin's marriage proposal. The Dornish Princess and even Queen Rhaella had dissolved into giggles when Joanna had told them that TYwin had proposed to her.

"Lord Tywin the plank of lifeless woof proposed marriage to you, Joanna you are life itself," The Dornish Princess Ellanna Martell had shaken her head in pity. Rhaella had asked her to tell them word for word and leave nothing out.

Unlike the two princesses, Joanna knew that Tywin had a difficult childhood. He felt that he would be a terrible father. Despite his deep seated insecurities, Joanna knew that his siblings, and their extended family all looked up at Tywin as a father figure. She had accepted with great sadness that Maggy had been right, that she would only have three children by Tywin because they would marry much later in life.

Kevan had told Joanna that Tywin would marry when he was in his 40s so that he would have raised his nephews to be capable advisors to his heirs. Tywin wanted only two sons they would carry the family name forward. Joanna was not pleased, she wanted at least 3 girls.

When Tywin had asked to speak to her privately she wasn't expecting a marriage proposal. Rather it was her chaperone, a woman from the Vale named Irma who had squealed and said "Yes Lady Joanna say yes!" when the Lord hand had asked the question.

His wedding proposal had no conditions, no promises, generally wedding proposals came with length of betrothal time, what the bride's family would get in compensation. All Tywin had said was

"Since I was young, I already knew what path my life would take. That is until I met you...here at Court after these years. I have only now realised that I was wrong about everything, in this moment and every moment after this, I forsake fortune, honour and glory, all I truly want is to be the man who makes you happy."

Joanna had been shocked, Tywin admitting a mistake? Tywin admitting his love? Tywin not marrying at 40? She did the most discourteous thing known in Westerosi society she answered a question with another, "Why... when…"

"I saw you a moon back you were collecting flowers for the Summer feast you had a basket on your hip, I was entranced, I could imagine our son on your hip, and when you pulled a crying beggar child onto your lap and soothed him, I knew for certain…"

The Chaperone never told anyone that little Lady Joanna had jumped into Lord Tywin's arms at that moment and forgot all her courtesies as she kissed him, he was slow to react but when he did they had both torn each other's hair bindings off in their passion, Irma had just stared eyes open and jaw slack.

"I accept," Joanna has said adjusting her hair and her clothes, "Good day Lord Hand, I am happy that you did not wait till you were 40." Irma wordlessly followed the "Lady" out.

"Typical husband," Joanna thought sitting on a bale of fabric, she angrily brushed her hair out of her face, she shrieked seeing it was a cobweb.

The door opened and Tywin burst in, "Joanna are you well?"

"Yes," she said wearily, she should have married a carpenter, at least the crib would be ready. Her useless man was up at dawn and late to bed smelling like livestock. She sighed sadly, atleast a carpenter would have cause to smell sweaty and not her Lord Husband… Where was he going to, if not to see some lover?

"I have been working on something."

"What? More schemes to make your beloved Aerys even more powerful?" Joanna loathed Aerys she wasn't sure but she had a feeling that the man who had groped her during her awful bedding ceremony was the King himself. She had no proof so she hated him in her heart and smiled at him on the outside.

Joanna turned her neck to see three cribs, they had lions carved at their foot and their heads. The one in the middle was varnished and shone like gold, it had the name _Jaime_ scrawled on the headboard.

She walked over slowly this is what you've been doing morning and night?

I want only the best for our child

A servant discreetly shut the door of the future nursery as their heir and his Lady wife forgot their courtesies and carried on as Maidens and Sers were known to do in the stables in the West.

* * *

Cersei knew Robert wouldn't prepare the Nursery. She peeked into her old Nursery.

She saw a shattered crib. That was the crib her father had built for Tyrion. Tyrion had no nursery, the wetnurse had kept Tyrion with him in her apartments.

An ache settled in Cersei's heart as she remembered her mother. She spun around when the door opened

Jaime was dressed in casual clothing he had carpenters tools in his arms and some fabric

Cersei you cannot be here

What are you

I asked Robert if I could take on the role to prepare the nursery

Jaime… this is taunting the gods… people will talk

Let them talk of the brother who loved his sister so much that he prepared a nursery for her when her husband was off fucking servant girls

I should rather do anything but talk Cersei thought as Jaime prepared the nursery for their child

Unlike Tywin and Joanna, Cersei knew they had to be careful and quiet. That however did not mean that she would refrain from her favourite activity biting Jaime as she kissed him.

Jaime winced.

Did I hurt you Cersei asked worried

Yes he sighed looking down at the woman he loved more than his own life

Oh she looked saddened, he loved her in red, he loved her in green, he loved her in nothing, the only look he did not like on her was sadness.

But never stop Cersei he told her burying his hands in her hair.

Jaime's coping mechanism was to make fun of situations so he could laugh, Cersei's was using sex, or being cruel to people to push them away. She was only truly vulnerable in front of and with Jaime. When she fell pregnant, she was different, softer, more loving and even gentle. As gentle as she could be, it was sweet, he could not wait for her to become a mother, then she would be this gentle for always.

He slid from her bed and put on his clothes

where are you going again? you don't know how to stay put for a even a moment do you? She snapped at him

Jaime was confused, she had been so loving and soft in his arms why was she baring her teeth at him, ready to tear into his throat?

uhmmm but you told me to find a heart-shaped red fruit with a single stem and a leaf. I wanted to start some enquiries, it will take time for me to find that

So you're complaining now? You did this to me. Very well, I'll just ask Robert, my husband to find one for me

oh-okay.. Jaime felt very inadequate, but as much as it killed himn to admit it, Robert was king he would have more resources to procure what Cersei desired

Cersei to his surprise was even angrier when he agreed with her

Seriously she asked and threw her shoe at him he quickly exited her chambers.

* * *

Cersei thought back to the day when Jaime found out that Cersei was with child. The Maester had delicately told Robert that the Queen was expecting an event.

Robert had frowned in confusion.

Jaime had understood immediately and he had looked crushed.

Cersei did not know whether she wanted to roll her eyes or comfort him with her kisses.

Thank the gods Robert said, now I shall have some respite, all she does is lay there, I expected a wild cat, instead I get a dead fish. Tell me did a Tully father you two instead of that old mad cunt Aerys

Cersei had never been so disgusted with Robert but she felt Jaime stir no doubt her twin was about to become a Kingslayer twice.

Jaime attend to me, excuse us your grace she told her husband and took Jaime by the sword hand.

How dare he I ought to cut him down for disrespecting our Lady mother like that

Jaime, let it rest, if the disgusting rumours are true and the King did take unwonted liberties with our mother, you have avenged her honour. She is proud of you.

Jaime frowned, this was not his sister, she was always angry wanting revenge for every slight, this was an imposter.

I do not believe you, how can you not be in the least bit concerned

Jaime, come here

He went over obediently she placed his hand on her belly. This is my concern and he should be your concern to, if that is not the case...

How can you ask me to be concerned with what another man has fathered on you?

Jaime, this is your child. Our cub

Truly he asked

Honestly she had told him back then.

Jaime had started reciting baby names

She had no heart to tell him that Robert had naming rights.

That was when she was happy with her pregnancy but now all she felt was trapped, she was in a prison that not even Jaime could save her from.

* * *

Cersei was trying to nap when her door opened

Go away Jaime, Oh Maggy the frog, I haven't seen you since I was…10? The years have no been kind to you.

I believe you shall have need of me, as did your mother

Yes you are so clever, how did you know I was with child was it this large hill protruding from my midsection?

Same fate you will have as your mother

Cersei rolled her eyes, yes I too will die giving birth to a suprnatural being that tears me apart.

Fuck Cersei thought.

Your mother while not the most well behaved, had better courtesies than you. Maggy remarked.

What would you know about courtesies your teeth are gone, your clothes are dirty and you live in a tent in a swamp

Dear girl, have you forgotten your fate?

Dear Queen, your grace. Cersei corrected the woman, her mind at war, she was thinking only of her mother and the prophesy saying that her three children would die before her eyes. "Piss on your prophesy old woman," Cersei thought, the prophesy was the sole reason that she, a Lannister woman could not feel happy that she was with child.

Lannister women are cursed, they love their babes more than their lives in the same way Lannister men are cursed they love their wives more than they do their own lives

Fascinating Cersei said I have the Royal Maester tending to me I don't need a toothless hag from the swamp

Cersei you had no mother, she unlike you had a mother, a loving husband and a sister in your aunt, you have no one you have nothing.

Cersei was about to hurl abuses at Maggy when she spoke again

Cersei, I know that that is no stag in your belly, that is a Lannister babe

Cersei was stricken, her mouth dry.

Should you have need of me… you know where I am

Begone, I never want to see or hear from you again!

You and your brother are headed on the same path as your Lord Father, he loved your mother more than his life, so the gods punished him. Heed my words Cersei, do not have this child you can yet avoid this fate.

Cersei cried bitterly, why was it the lowest born woman could fall in love in her backyard and have children without a care? Women from the west have had been having children under trees, by riverbanks and raising them as siblings if they were born out of wedlock. Yet she the true-born daughter of Tywin and Joanna Lannister, she who had everything, she had to suffer and be denied what had brought Lannister women joy for centuries? It was not fair no only had to hide her love in secret now she would have to calculate the likelihood of Robert murdering her, Jaime and their child together.

* * *

Cersei dreamed that night, of three beautiful babes, green eyes, happy smiles, mops of golden blonde hair. Her Lady Mother and her Lord Father smiling proudly as her three children, 2 boys and a girl sat in the nursery babbling away happily. All wore crowns, the girl was in a revealing pink dress and she wore a circlet in the Dornish design, her sons wore the identical Crown, that graced Robert's dark head currently.

You've come atlast Joanna said to Cersei we have been expecting you

Cersei screamed when she saw that her beloved mother's dress was red stained and a hand was reaching out to Cersei from the hole in Joanna's body.

Do not be afraid Cersei, we Lannister's are not craven Tywin told her as the, figure hlaf emerged, the figure's back was to Cersei, the figure had a sword and it stabbed Tywin in the heart, Cersei stepped back as the sword fell to the floor with a clang. The figure had left Joanna's body and was ripping the nursery curtains apart, they were made of golden gossamer.

Cersei crying softly, watched her parents still bleeding, sit together hands held, on a low couch. They were praising Cersei's children.

The fully formed, man who had emerged from her mother's belly, even though he was covered in blood, he was without a doubt Jaime. She would know his body anywhere. Cersei's sobs were curtailed by shock.

As Jaime passed the three children they too turned to Cersei, the girl had blood seeping out of her mouth, the oldest boy had blue lines marbling his face his eyes lifeless, the youngest boy had his head at an unnatural angle. Jaime threw the gossamer veils over the three children.

Jaime what are you doing she asked, even though he was covered in their mother's blood, she was not afraid, this was the man she loved, he was her twin, her other half. He would never hurt her.

Jaime's face though covered with blood, could not dull the brilliance of his smile, they said he had Lady Joanna's smile, that it could rival the sun.

They're all dead Jaime hold me please she begged

With pleasure he said and then Cersei gagged and slapped at him in futility trying to pry his hands off her neck but his hands were slicked with blood.

"Jaime... no no no!" Cersei gasped as she woke up

"Cersei, sweet Cersei, wake up, my love, it is not real, I am real, look upon me."

Oh Jaime she clung to Jaime burying her face in his neck. I had a night terror

I gathered Jaime remarked

There was a man, he killed mother, then father then... me she didn't mention the threat upon their children.

No one shall hurt you as long as I live Cersei, I shall gut any man who tries to harm you.

Cersei, didn't tell him that it was him that would harm her and that thus far he had not been able to stop Robert from hurting her, so she took very little solace in his words, but she took whatever sweet comforts his body could give her terrified and desperate self.

 _Gold shall be their crowns and gold their shrouds, she said. And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you.[1]_


	3. Joffrey III

Joffrey III

 **This is based on a Hindu ritual some people do in my country, Jo thinks Tywin's gonna die so she does the ritual**

 **Genna/Emmon (OTP) are having a baby before TyJo because I love angry preggo lionesses**

* * *

Every year in the 8th moon, at the wives of the West, took part in a ritual called, **Husbands Health,** a special fast that usually married women partook in, however eager unmarried women sometimes took part in it for their betrothed.

When Rhaella had dismissed Joanna, everyone said it was because the King had her eye on Joanna, Rhaella simply wanted Joanna to concentrate on making Lannister cubs to serve the Targareyn dynasty as diligently as Joanna and Tywin had done thus far. Genna traveled with Joanna, grumbling nonstop about the ritual. Joanna had squeezed Genna's hand telling her that she a lioness of the Rock was capable of anything she put her mind to.

Joanna never missed a year, she had been doing the ritual ever since she was 10. On the day of the fast Joanna had woken early, she quietly broke her fast leaving Tywin slumbering even in sleep reluctant for her to leave his embrace. She padded to the room which had been allocated to the Westerlands women, it was large, ope with a balcony that ran the entire length.

Joanna entered the room of yawning women, half dressed, clutching a leather bag. She greeted the sleepy women and started extracting small identical items from her bag.

Rhaella entered the room just in time to see Joanna seated on a cushion on the floor, even though the women were in a circle, it was evident that everyone deferred to Joanna. Joanna was passing around red cloth envelopes. One reached Rhaella. It contained a handkerchief, a tiny bottle of scent and a seed.

"To wipe your tears of happiness, a scent to remind you of the memories you make and a seed to plant a tree in your own home," Joanna spoke reverently.

Joanna knew from Maggy's words years ago that she would outlive Tywin, so she prayed harder than any other woman, praying for his safety and longlife. She hoped her devotion would appease the Gods and let her and her children have more time with him.

Rhaella had made a face when she sniffed the scent, flicked the seed away and said that she didn't care for the stitching of the handkerchief. Joanna had felt irritated she never made fun of their rituals. Actually she did, but never in front of them. She was cross with Rhaella and was happy to avoid her for the next few hours as the women prepared for the rest of the ritual.

The women did not return to their chambers, they had been allocated a bathing apartment. Joanna had been helping dress the women, so she was the last to get dressed, she had just slipped into her bath when she heard the queen's haughty voice

"Primitive customs," Rhaella had remarked, "wearing veils? Starving themselves? What next? Polygamy? Burying people alive?"

"Atleast we don't fuck our brothers," Joanna wanted to scream as she slid under the water. She respected Tywin so much more knowing what he had to put up with day in and day out.

When Joanna returned, the women sat in a circle, various shades of gold and red, as Joanna told stories of famous wives and they honoured them. Towards the end of the ritual the women would exchange water with each other, the women would ask each other **are you satisfied?** This was to foster a bond between the women, to ask after each other's wellbeing

Genna caused a stir when she had said "No." Causing all the women to dissolve into laughter

Joanna whispered into Genna's ear

"I am satiated by water, but not from the love of my husband may the gods bless me with his overflowing love," Genna responded mechanically, accompanied with an eyeroll.

Joanna as usual was last, she had asked, Cassana of House Estermont, Lord Steffon Baratheon's wife if she was satisfied and exchanged her cup of water with Cassana. Cassana had taken to the alien ritual with more passion than Genna.

"Are you satisfied?" Cassana asked solemnly

"I heard he satisfied you last night sister and this morning," a Lannister Bastard married to the quartermaster pointed out, supressing a chuckle

Joanna snapped her mouth shut as Rhaella and the other women giggled.

Joanna quickly said the words and chose to walk with Cassana to the Sept, explaining the ritual's history and ignoring the comments such " _thank the gods the Lord Hand's towers are far from the guest chambers or no one would get any sleep."_

The women placed their plates at the feet of the gods and prayed reverently for their husband's safety and long life.

When they returned to the room, the moon was up, when Joanna saw Rhaella chatting with Tywin, Joanna's good cheer disappeared, she was lucky she only saw his back and not his face or else she'd have spat in his face, like Genna was about to do. Joanna strode to the table and picked up her cup, with Genna in tow complaining that her husband had a face like a rat, how could she do the ritual when he was so ugly. Joanna was grateful that the ritual would be over and she would return home and away from the court people and Genna.

First Joanna had to catch the moon's reflection in her cup, then she would raise the cup to the moon, to seek her blessings by "releasing" the moon from captivity. She was still praying, calling Tywin stupid and wishing the gods would grant him some intelligence and not to be so loyal to the dragons and that Rhaella would have a another child and stay the fuck away from her husband and that Genna matured and acted like a proper lady. Oh and let my husband have a long life, she added belatedly.

Joanna heard Tywin clear his throat behind her, she smiled to herself, her irritation melting away, he didn't believe in the ritual, but he knew that it was their first ritual as a married couple and he ought to be supportive. She pulled her veil over her head and peered up at her husband's face.

Tywin took the cup from her plate and she took a small sip, he then fed her a small piece of cake.

Joanna blinked and feeling faint she grabbed Tywin's arm, he steadied her and whispered against her temple, "primitive custom I shall have to abolish it," Joanna didn't respond maybe this is why Tywin didn't hate the Targareyns he thought as they did.

* * *

She ate her first proper meal of the day in the feasting hall.

You are displeased with me Tywin remarked

You insulted our long held ceremony she responded stabbing her piece of fish, she wanted to blurt out "shall I start wearing red and black, lighten my hair, start naming our children aegon?" She knew that Tywin was loved but the Targarayens were famed for having awful tempers, she couldn't speak badly about them.

Very well you women can starve yourself for us men, I shan't object

It is not starving it is a fast, I shan't speak to you, if you mean to be so beastly

He kissed her hand very well, I shan't abolish this ritual if it makes you happy

You are becoming more like them, you will one day be more dragon than lion, you shall be ruthless and cruel and I shan't recognise you. She wished she could ask Maggy if she ever stopped loving Tywin.

Tywin studied her face, Joanna I am sorry if I have offended you, however it is a stupid ritual, my mother was forced to pray for my father. I do not wish women to pray for unworthy husbands

"I am choosing to do so, I love my husband and he is worthy, none of these women are being, forced, even Genna came of her own free will. As for this," she subtly brushed his Lord Hand pin, "promise me Tywin that you shan't become like that, promise me that I shall never have to see you become someone other than the just, loving, intelligent, man that I married."

I promise that you shall never see me do anything without honour

Joanna and Tywin sealed their promise with a chaste kiss

Which made Steffon call out one more with tongue Lord Hand, Cassana groaned into her hands

"Don't fucking touch me!" Genna said suddenly "You did this to me! Now I shall lose my figure and be fat!" she was sobbing "Oh gods I am too young to have a babe!" Genna ran from the hall

Emmon looked at Tywin for guidance.

"I should go," Joanna placing her hand on Tywin's shoulder for support as she gathered her skirts.

"You have not eaten," Tywin told her, "rest, you are weak, Brother Emmon go and tell my sister that even if she is the size of an elephant you shall love her still because she will always be your one and only love."

The Twins had arrived during the Husband's Health ritual, Maggy had been in the room doing all the work but the Maester got all the credit.

I did not do my ritual Joanna fretted

The symbol of your husband's longevity shall soon be in the world

Joanna smiled happily. She had told Tywin it was a girl he had insisted that it was a boy.

When Cersei arrived Joanna had laughed in triumph but then Jaime arrived, shortly after Joanna had been surprised.

It was no horse it was two cubs playing in my belly she told Maggy

Tywin and Joanna sat in bed with their twins.

We have no name for her Joanna told Tywin

Cersei after our great grandmother Cerenna

Beautiful Joanna told Tywin

Yes both mother and daughter are Tywin agreed.

* * *

The twins were often crying, Tywin was not happy with the lack of colour in Joanna's cheeks, Genna had a lot of colour in her cheeks even after the babe when she had come to give birth at the Rock. Then again she had been hurling abuses at Emmon all through the birth and after.

Tywin had the twins put in different cribs, and he spoke to them sternly, "Now cease that caterwauling. I your father insist that you stop crying henceforward." The twins would wail with big fat tears. Tywin ordered Maggy to be brought to the Rock, surely the witch had cursed his children with some dark magic and made them ill. He would have her executed.

Joanna looking like a ghost hugged him from behind, "oh my stupid grumpy sour puss," she said as he placed his hands over her hands. She padded to the crib next to Jaime's, Joanna picked up Cersei and placed her in Jaime's crib, almost immediately, Jaime reached for his sister and they stopped crying.

Tywin was shocked

"No, Winnie, our babies our not sick, they came to this world together they need to be together."

Tywin dropped a kiss on Joanna's head, "Mayhaps I need to make a bigger crib then."

"But first..." She pulled Tywin into their bedroom with a mischievous look in her impish eyes.

"Oh my love you did not…" he said noting the Husbands health items in the room, no wonder she looked like death, she was fasting.

"I did!" She informed him

He gave her a drink of water and a piece of cake. They ate their dinner on the balcony and returned to the bed where they clung to each other, she was dozing off, enjoying the cuddling immensely, but she had to do one last thing before she fell asleep.

"I cannot believe you almost condemned an innocent woman to death."

"What will I do without you?" He asked nuzzling her neck

"You shall never find out," she said with conviction, she yawned, "and you shall not harm Maggy."

"And I shall not harm Maggy," Tywin agreed, the feeling of contentment, of Joanna in his arms and his golden children in the nursery, he never thought he would ever have this such a beautiful family. He would even resign from the position of Lord hand if she had asked him in that moment.

* * *

The crib and the nursery were finished, so Cersei was puzzled by Jaime's absence. She searched high and low, but having no luck she went to her chambers. She was so irritated, that even Robert didn't pretend to show his father in law that he respected Cersei.

Servants scurried away as Cersei, missing Jaime desperately, stalked the halls headed to her chambers, she pushed open her door, she locked it behind her, should Jaime wish to share her bed he would have to work for it. Not very hard though, she was very very randy.

She leaned against the door seeing her twin's figure at the window.

What are you doing here she asked locking the servants entrance too.

Father abolished the Husband's health ritual

And so? I am with child it is not a good idea.

No I did the ritual for you, I fasted all day and now that the moon is up

Oh Jaime! Cersei rushed to him and took the cup from his plate and he took a sip, she fed him some cake, she tasted the strawberry flavour of the dessert

You poor poor man, you must starving, I shall have a servant bring up a plate she turned to the door

Wat I am hungry for no one save you can provide.

Cersei pushed Jaime onto her day bed

Be careful what you wish for apparently Lannister wives are thrice as randy when they're pregnant

* * *

Cersei felt Jaime's hands in her hair. He had done the ritual for her. It was time, she should tell him about the dreams.

Can we name the others? I spent a few hours in the archives I have a few names we can use for the other children

Others? Other children? Cersei asked

Joffrey is an awful name. It is your husband's right I suppose.

Cersei left the bed and pulled a gown over her frame.

I can't wait till this one is born we can start making the next one

Cersei felt him hug her from behind she placed her hands over his, he rocked her slowly nuzzling her neck.

We shall raise a whole army by ourselves, grandfather Jason had eight children Grandfather who shall not be named had five, let us aim for 6 maybe 7?

Cersei felt dread pool in her belly. No, if Maggy who lived in a swamp knew, anyone could find out. It was too risky. She loved Jaime and wanted nothing to be his in every capacity, she dreamed oft of being his wife and raising their children but no, she was a Queen she couldn't risk her children being stoned in the streets.

I promise you Cersei, I shall be such a good father to our babes, better than Father was to us. Oh Cersei I shall love our children so much that people will think that I gave birth to them and not you.

* * *

When she was certain Jaime was sleeping, she snuck out to see Maggy.

I have been expecting you Cersei Maggy smiled oddly, Baratheon. Here is what you are after, Maggy held out a little vial

Cersei swallowed it all in one go

When you are abed…

Oh never mind Cersei said and started her trek back to the rock

She prayed for the potion to work, Jaime would understand, she would tell him of the dreams. She thought back to the sermon the High Septon gave, and how ferociously she had vowed to protect her babe. But maybe this world was just to cruel to Lannisters. Especially one who was born of incest and a treason against the King.

She stumbled and took a fall, she looked upon her ancestral home, no she needed to focus, she was a lioness of the Rock, she was doing this for her babe. He would not survive in such a cruel world. The gods were petty and cruel and the humans were worse. She pushed herself up and yearned for Jaime. His arms, his ready smile, his healing touches. He was all she wanted, she was breaking inside he would hold her together as he did every time Robert tore her apart.

She was a wild child, Jaime was the shy one, the apple of their father's eye no matter how much better she was than Jaime at numbers and letters. She had been jealous of Jaime but the passion behind the jealousy changed into something altogether. She and Jaime spent hours just consuming each other becoming one.

Maggy's prophesy would not come true. She would tell Jaime there would be no more children she would not do this again, Jaime was home. He could leave the Kingsguard they could run away and live as husband and wife, no children just the two of them.

She ducked into the gates and made for the chambers.

Jaime was waiting for her he looked angry, but his gaze softened and he took her into his arms hugging her tight.

"I was worried you that you let him touch you but you don't smell like a sweaty boar," he smirked thumbing her lower lip

"Jaime..." she began it was now or never she would tell him why she went to Maggy, the prophesy everything.

"No," he said pulling her onto the balcony, a swing set was on the balcony, "we can speak freely here," he said rubbing Cersei's arm, as he helped her sit down

"What is it?" he asked her as she nervously played with her rings

"Oh my sweet love, what did you want to tell me?" he asked cupping her cheek, "excuse my impatience I hated waking up alone. Especially in a place where we truly belong."

Softly but steadily it started raining

Jaime smiled looking up

To Cersei he looked like an angel, her saviour, her strength, surely the gods wouldn't awaken desire in her heart for her brother if it was wrong?

Joffrey would look like Jaime, he would be romantic, gallant and loving, any girl he made wife would be thanking Cersei for raising such a beautiful, gentle, brave and strong Prince. She could pass Joffrey of as Roberts. Her confusion cleared, no she was a Lannister woman, did her mother not die birthing Tyrion? Did Alys Stackspear not die birthing her uncle Damon? No Lannister women craved nothing more than being a mother. Maggy was wrong, Jaime loved her. She loved Jaime. As long as she had Jaime she had everything.

How could something be sinful, if it was born of such a deep and passionate love? How could the world be so cruel as to be unhospitable to Joffrey? No she and Jaime would be parents. That was undeniable, they were put on earth to love each other and the symbol of their love would come into the world. Jofrey would want for nothing. No matter how tough and long the road was she would bleed she would fight to ensure that her son was happy and safe.

Her words died on her lips, as Jaime claimed her mouth she made herself comfortable on the seat of the swing set. Jaime was softly pushing her hair away from her face, strand by strand, he was so attentive. He was such a good lover, a real husband, Robert was a false husband, Jaime would protect her and he would protect Joffrey. This was all she wanted. Without breaking lip contact she slid out from under him and straddled him, she could feel his smile. She kissed him hard as the rain blessed their love. Fuck Maggy she thought.

"Jaime no!" she slid off the swing and sank to her feet. She tried to induce vomiting to expel the potion from her system. She cried, she gagged, she pounded her chest but to no avail. She started sobbing, her heart broke as she realised that she had lost her child and maybe Jaime too once he found out that what she had done.

"Cersei stop this, have you gone insane? what are you doing you will make yourself ill," Jaime whispered in worry.

"Jaime, forgive me," she whispered a hand on her belly as a sharp pain shot through her. She felt faint and fell back on Jaime's chest his waiting arms enclosing her in a tender embrace.

Jaime reluctantly surrendered Cersei to the Maester

"She hash losht the babe." The old man said with a burp.

Robert had bloodied his fists on the walls of the Maester's apartments

* * *

Cersei was woken up by rustling of fabric

"Mama?" she called out wincing her hand on her belly

"No, Maggy," the witch grinned, 'Ah've decided to come ta the Cahpithal with yoh lull Lady Cersei."

"Oh Joy," Cersei thought with an expressive eyeroll as sleep claimed her.


End file.
